enodia_ic | (no subject)

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In the past 48 hours, someone in this building has played "All I Want for Christmas Is You" a total of sixty-one (61) times. I don't know if this is one person or several people throughout the day, but it's become intolerable. We are still at the beginning of the month.

[DM: Parson Starling & Crysta Waldinger]

Please respond to this survey at your earliest convenience:

1) What are your plans for Christmas?

2) Are you currently dating anyone?

3) On a scale of 1–10, rate how much you want to discuss other events this month, with 1 being "never and I don't even know what you're talking about actually" and 10 being "I want an actual serious conversation about it, but I will mercifully allow us all to get drunk first."

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Hmm. I can distract Security.

this member of security is offended by hanukkah erasure and conveniently on break

Edited (spent five minutes trying to decide if he should hit post) 2023-12-03 19:44 (UTC)

Sterling work ethic as usual, Zelizer.

i know it's really cutting into my nap time

You can still be useful. Do you know who else is assigned to the Commercial Centre today?

thank god another existential crisis avoided for now

i do but i'm p sure they're making out atm do you want me to put them on the line for you

Incredible. Does anyone in Security do any real work? [...] And no. Keep them occupied.

not on sundays so that's a pro tip to everyone planning their station crimes

oh boy things are about to get real awkward in this break room

Fair enough. Even I take breaks on Sunday. I only work for four hours.

Good luck. This falls right within your wheelhouse, I'm sure.

If this doesn't work out, I'll just blast Adam Sandler's hanukkah song on repeat until they turn off the Mariah.

we have to be careful with the levels or this might launch a viral mashup hit

But on the plus side, it might annoy everyone so much that all holiday music gets cancelled forever.

I'm starting a petition to ban holiday music in public spaces. This doesn't solve the problem of whoever lives in the apartment above mine, but one step at a time.

Would you like to borrow a broom handle so that you can at least bang until they stop?

I'm able to project noises, although maybe you have a point. Illusions aren't quite as satisfying as banging my ceiling with a physical object.

Now, however, we should find a way to destroy every Christmas album held by whoever's in charge of the Commercial Centre speaker system.

Oh, Carol might go on a murder spree if we do that. I saw her wearing Rudolph earrings already.

And who gave Carol the authority to force everyone in this station to listen to Michael Bublé? No one asked for this.

Probably no one. She's just old and scary.

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